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Yesterday or the night before we were out driving and we saw a funny license plate.  I can’t recall now what it was, but that’s not important to this story.  Around the license plate was a holder that said “Proud to be an Army Wife.”  The Husband asked if I wanted one.  I responded that it would be a little awkward having two husbands who were in different branches of the military because which base would we live on, but seriously, I’m not really that jingoistic.

Sure I went looking to buy a flag the evening of 11 September 2001 (they were sold out) but for the most part I don’t feel the need to advertise the fact that I’m American to all the other Americans on the street.  I am secure in my American-ness.  I don’t feel the need to convince other people of my patriotism or shove my beliefs down people’s throats, and I hope others extend me the same courtesy.  This is part of the reason evangelicals (of any sort) tend to annoy me.

So this won’t be such a surprise when I say I think the military is full of crap.

I understand the need for a sense of conformity and group-over-self, but I fail to see why this must extend to towels and socks.  The Husband needs three (3) pairs of white cotton athletic socks for PT.  Either ankle socks and definitely not crew socks, or crew socks and definitely not ankle socks, depending on which official list you look at.  He has white cotton ankle socks and white cotton crew socks, but we have to buy new ones because they have tiny logos on them.  So now we have to go buy plain white cotton crew socks and plain white cotton ankle socks even though he has otherwise perfectly good socks.

But it’s okay because he will use the socks and some of the old ones are getting holes and need to be replaced and they are a visible part of the PT uniform, which is supposed to be, you know, uniform.

See, you don’t even notice the color of the towels.

But towels are not.  However, right there on the official purchase list is one (1) towel, white.  I don’t see why.  They do their own laundry.  The towels don’t leave the dorm.  At no point in their training do the officers, fresh from the shower, march around the field in their matching uniform towels.  (Now that is a parade I’d like to see!)

We have towels.  We have lots of towels.  We have lots of nice, absorbent towels.  We do not need more towels.  We should actually be getting rid of towels because some are old and falling apart and have holes the dog chewed in them when she was a puppy seven years ago.  They don’t fit in our closet.  But no, I will be going out to buy more towels because ours are not white.  Green, pink, blue, brown, plaid, and off-white (ecru? mother of pearl?), but not white.

And that, my friends, is why I think the military is full of crap.

Also, do not go to the site that photo is hosted on at work.  It’s totally gay porn.  You have been warned!  I should have known; I searched for “men in towels.”  Oh Google Image Search, you give and then you frighten away.

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